Just Two Little Letters

I am overwhelmed. I am stressed. I am tired. And I did it all to myself.

I have this inability to say no and I don't know why. Sometimes I feel bad. Sometimes I actually think I can or want to do it. Sometimes my kids are asking. Sometimes I am just stupid.

School starts back up in 5 days. This week I agreed to help 3 half days in the copy room. Not bad, helping them, yet still having time with my kids. But then the church called and needed help with a cutting project. Sure, I can do it, I have my nights when James is on shift. And then the PTSO came up with this great back to school project for the teachers and I spent 15 hours getting it together. And then the kids want to squeeze in one last play date before school starts. And then the dog goes and gets an unexpected $200 UTI.

And at the end of my day, I am at the end of my rope. And while I am hanging, just for good measure, I have forget to say no to stress eating and the red vines that were staring at me today in the copy room and the dollar scoop night at Baskin Robbins last night. I swear.

I get so frustrated. With myself. With the people who take advantage. With my hubby for not putting his foot down and knocking some sense into me. Seriously, even if I made $8 an hour for the time I volunteer, just school alone would have been $8,000 and could have paid for my new A/C unit that is financed.

I don't know which is easier at this point; accepting that I am an idiot with the inability to say two little letters and just resign to being stressed or actually start saying no and deal with the guilt and the worry that nobody will do it (even though I know eventually somebody would or it just wouldn't get done and that would be how it was.)

Ugh! Sometimes my personality just irks me!