Life Happens

Sometimes I wish things would slow down some. I am, for the most part, an on the go kind of girl. I usually have my day jammed packed full of things to do and places to go and it has never bothered me. What bothers me is when something extra sneaks it's way in last minute and even if I can find a way to make it work, I don't like that it's not planned and it stresses me out.

That happened to me today. I was scheduled to make a meal for someone who just lost her husband and tonight my hubby was going to a movie with some friends. Then we realized we had an open morning so we decided yesterday to go for a hike. Even though he has a great schedule and is home a lot during the week, this is a rare event for us since he is usually doing car work or helping someone.

Then late last night I get a call letting me know that my grandpa is in the hospital. He is 77, has had diabetes for 25+ years and had quadruple bypass in '04, so a hospital visit is never good. To add to the plate, my grandma, his wife of over 55 years is at home battling bladder cancer and not doing well herself.

So, as I went to bed last night I played out my options for the day: skip the hike - didn't want to do that with all the examples of how precious time with a loved one can be; not go to see my grandparents - didn't want to do that because I don't know how long they have; not shower - not an option since my hair was going to be heading into day 3.

I surprised myself when this morning I woke up spontaneously at 6:24am. (That never happens.) I realized if I hurried, I could get the dinner made before I took Colton to school. So, with a minor amount of yelling and ignoring the kids, I got dinner made. Check that off my list. Then I realized I had a small amount of time before James got home from work to hike and if I only got halfway ready, I could get my shower done now. Another check. James and I went hiking and it was nice, although I am pathetically out of shape compared to him! When we got home, I grabbed lunch and headed out the door.

When I got to the hospital, I was headed into the room I was told my grandpa was in. I then found out that he had been moved to CCU because he couldn't breathe and his heart was beating irregularly. They had some weird contraption on him to help him breathe and said he may be intebated by the end of the day. Even though I am not extremely close to this set of grandparents, I am closer to him and it was really hard to see. When I walked in the room he looked so sad and even scared which is not an emotion he displays often. He grabbed my hand and held it the entire visit. When I left I just felt sad. Then I stopped by my grandma's to see how she was doing. She is having a very hard time lately, needs 24 hour care and misses my grandpa. When I sat down to talk with her, as she lay in bed with her eyes closed because talking is all the energy she can muster, she said, "I just wish we were going through this together."

It was at that moment that I thought, life happens. Sometimes the way we want, sometimes not. My grandparents are the fortunate ones in some respects. They have had a good life, 55 years of marriage, kids and grand kids. Now though they are suffering, having a hard time remembering and just plain ailing from old age and the complications that go along with it. I have lost a number of very important people in my life, ranging in age from a newborn to this. I don't think there is any easy time to lose someone or any easy age to go through suffering. Like I say in almost every post, you just have to enjoy what you can while you have it. ..... Now I am off to snuggle up with my boys and relax.