Ewww, love

Today, Dawson had speech and his therapist asked him who he loved. The conversation was funny to say the least.

ST: "Who do you love?"
Dawson: "Ewww. I don't love anyone!."
ST: "Don't you love your mom, dad and Colton?"
Dawson: "No, I like them a lot, but love is gross."
ST: "Wouldn't you miss your mom and be sad if something happened."
Dawson: "Yeah, I guess. Then we couldn't play any more 4 player games."

Yep, that's it. That is what I count for in the house. Being the fourth player in a 4 player game.

And, just so I don't forget...last week he was supposed to be reading his sight word book in class. He told the teacher he didn't want to do it and she told him to do it anyways. When she came back around the class to see how everyone was doing, she found Dawson not reading. Why? Because he glued his book shut. Oh yeah. My outside the box thinker showed her.

What am I going to do with this child?

On my way...

I hit some of my accomplishments today.

I have finally lost 10 pounds without depriving myself. I didn't think it would happen today either because I had the most delicious piece of birthday cake yesterday at a party, but it did. This is the happiest I have ever been losing weight. Of course, this is the longest it has ever taken for me to lose weight, but I am doing it in a way in which I hopefully won't regain it.

Typically when I decide to lose weight, I diet. I eat everything in sight the day before the diet starts. Then, I complain and am mean to my family for the first week. Then I see that I lost weight and hang on for another week. Then I decide to "reward" myself for doing so good and gain everything back in one meal and give up. That obviously was not working.

This time, I have eaten absolutely everything I have wanted. I have had chocolate covered pretzels, red velvet cake, birthday cake, chips and dip, and gone out to eat a ton of times. Nothing has changed, except for the amount of food I eat. Now instead of plowing through a 3,000 calorie meal all at once, I am taking some home for lunch the next day. But, I am still eating everything and I have been much happier this time.

The other thing that has helped with the weight coming off is that I finally have worked out at least 4 times a week for the past 2 months. That helps for two reasons. Of course, exercise burns off some of what I am eating, but it also makes it SO much easier for me to not eat the whole plate when I know I just spent 55 minutes turning shades of purple and dying as I hiked up a mountain.

I am excited. But, I am nervous too. I still have more weight that I would like to lose. And I have Hawaii in four weeks and would like to not pile it all back on in one trip.

For now though, I am not going to focus on the negatives or the what-ifs. Right now, I am crossing off goal #7 and #74 and am feeling good about it.

Hard Life Lessons

Today has been an emotional one. I started out just having a rough morning and then tonight my doorbell rang. It was the neighbor boys. Eight months ago, my neighbors took in their extended family after they lost their home. They had five kids.

It didn't take long and pretty soon all the kids got along. Colton really loved the two oldest brothers who were his age. They were outside six, if not seven, days a week for hours on end playing football and riding scooters. James and I would get upset sometimes because Colton would rather play with the boys than spend time with the family.

Yesterday, Colton and one of the neighbors both got "Character of the Month" at school. As we were getting ready to go to dinner as a family, he asked if we could invite the next door boy. I said sure and right now and so thankful for that dinner.

When I opened the door tonight, the boys told me they were moving to Texas in a hour. I couldn't believe it until I walked out and saw a small U-haul trailer behind their old beat up car. Each of the five kids only had a backpack and a small amount of clothes. No toys, no mementos. They packed a family of seven in two hours and left.

I am so frustrated with the parents. They are extremely selfish. They are moving because they were too lazy to get jobs and the family told them they had until the end of the school year. Instead, they upped and left today.

My boys have cried all night. I have cried all night. My heart breaks for those kids. I worry for those kids. And I am sad for my kids who just lost their "first best friends" as Dawson says. I keep telling Colton that it wasn't the kids choice and that sometimes parents make decisions that aren't always the best. It is a hard life lesson. He wants to write them and call and I wish he could, but for now they will be living out of their car somewhere.

Life just doesn't make sense...

Speechless

Often in life there is that one person who leaves you speechless after they say something. Sometimes it is funny, sometimes there is disbelief, sometimes you just don't know how to follow the comment. For me that is my dear Dawson.

Although he is only 5, when I repeat some of the stories to people, I always hear the comment, "you should write a book." Well, I can guarantee that is not in my future, but I do want to remember some of the things he has said. Of course, they are never as funny in print as hearing them, but I hope that when I look back, I will hear his voice saying them and smile.

The most recent happened tonight. James and I went out to a movie and the neighbor's fiance came over to watch the boys for us. When we got home she told us that when the boys were supposed to be brushing their teeth, she kept hearing Dawson scream, "it's impossible!" After a couple times, she went to see what he was talking about and turned the corner to find both of my children trying to lick their elbows. I am so proud. :)

Also, tonight my when Dawson was in the shower, we found him with shaving cream on his eyebrows getting ready to "shave" them because he said he saw me, "pulling mine out." I explained to him that only girls do that and the boys are supposed to have all of their eyebrows.

Then there was last weekend when James took me away for an overnight getaway. The boys didn't know it was coming either (he thought they'd blow the surprise) so we were a little worried about how they did. When we got home, I gave Dawson a big hug and told him how much I missed him to which he replied, "I didn't miss you." Knowing he likes dad more than me, that didn't surprise me much, but then he piped up and said, "but don't worry, I didn't miss dad either." Fabulous.

Then there is the incidents (yep, more than one) that involve my boys, scissors and their clothes. Last year, Colton cut a hole in the leg of his shorts. For no particular reason. Three weeks ago, he came home from school and had cut a slit in the leg of his shorts. I guess he is practicing restraint. Last week though, Dawson came home and had cut a hole in his jeans. Only his was a little more obvious. When I picked him up from school, all I could see were his underwear. Oh yeah, he cut a quarter size hole right in the crotch of his jeans. Then there was today. We walk in the door from school and had this conversation:

Dawson: "_____ said you can't cut shoelaces and I told him yes you could."
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Dawson: " ______ said you can't cut shoelaces and I said yes you can. Then he said 'no' and I told him uh-huh."

Right about this time, he is taking off his shoes and untying them only to hand me half of his shoelace.

Dawson: "See ______ cut my shoelace to show me they cut."

Great, now it's not even my own kids cutting their own clothes. They are letting other children in class practice their tailoring skills on them.

The best and worst part is that Dawson has no idea. He is in his own little happy world where none of this matters. He doesn't get half of what he says or does and I think that is the part that makes it even more endearing. I have had such a rough week with looking at his future and trying to decide what path is best for him to take and this just makes me sit back and smile. He is God's son. He is exactly who he is supposed to be. He leaves me speechless most days. And I wouldn't change it if I could!

Blessed with a Wonderful Husband

There are so many days that I truly take my husband for granted. This weekend he surprised me with a wonderful getaway up north for the night and arranged for the kids to be taken care of and even had friends waiting for us when we got there. It was amazing and I am so thankful for that night, but it got me thinking about how many little things he does that I don't acknowledge often enough.

-He gets up with the boys in the morning and gets them breakfast so I can have an extra 15 minutes to sleep. (As a matter of fact, he used to get them up and change them when they were babies before he brought them in to me to nurse.)

-He cleans the house all the time. I have only mopped one time in 11 years.

-He works his tail off so that I can stay home with the boys.

-He lets me have girl time any time I tell him I need it and never complains about being with the kids instead of out with the guys.

-He makes a delicious dinner and has no problem using every pot we own and then washing them when he is done.

-Above all, he is faithful, honest, caring and very funny!!

I know there are many other things he does that I am not even thinking about right now. The ones I listed are all things he has done or is doing this week alone. I am not sure what God was thinking when he crossed our paths, but I am thankful to be blessed with a wonderful husband!