I Did It!!

Oh my! I am so overwhelmed with emotion right now. I am so proud of myself. I am in such disbelief that I actually did it.

I RAN 30 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING!!
(this will have to work since I can't afford to sky-write it)

I cannot begin to explain what an unattainable goal this seemed like when I put it on my list. I hate exercise. I have a really bad knee. I have the poorest cardio for anyone I have ever met under 70 years old. And I had every excuse in the book to not even try it.

I started thinking it might be reachable last week when I made it 15 minutes. Then three days later I made it 20 minutes. That day though, I was back to being purple and lightheaded and thought I might need to go a little slower towards my goal. That was until this afternoon.

Yesterday, I shared my goal with a friend and told her how hard I was trying. She told me how she struggled at running also. And then today she posted on Facebook how she had just gotten home from the gym and running for 30 minutes. Wait a minute. Isn't this my goal? Anyways, maybe I needed to have a fire lit under my butt to do it, but I DID IT!

The first 15 minutes weren't bad. By 20, my head was actually so hot, I thought it was going to catch on fire. I know all the blood was rushing to it and begging it to stop, but I kept going. I even saw spots the last two minutes, but seriously, who is going to stop at 28 minutes? I know that this entire post seems like I am bragging, but for anyone who knows me, I am very negative towards myself and I am actually proud of myself for a change and it feels good!!

And since I am crossing goals off my list, I also accomplished #26. I not only learned how to use my MP3 player, it helped me achieve #51. Yeah me!

Small Accomplishments

I am changing as I get older. I am still regimented and scheduled, but I am realizing life is too short to be so legalistic. I am liking my new found approach to things. I feel more relaxed. I have slown down (although not as much as I need to.) And along the way, I am making baby steps to the bigger, long-term goals I have set.

This morning, I hit the five pound mark. I have yo-yo dieted for over 4 years. I never struggled really with weight until after I had Dawson. I don't know if it was a hormone disaster because his pregnancy was complicated or what, but man has the weight liked my butt ever since. Three and a half years ago, I weighed 30 pounds less than I did at the first of this year. I am not talking about what I weighed when I got married 10 years ago, I am talking three years ago. Before Dawson was diagnosed, before the long days of therapy, before the medic school, before my hysterectomy, before the many life changes that have taken place. All of which, I have eaten myself through.

So this time I have approached it differently. If I am craving something, I will eat it. Not the entire batch of brownies (although there was one day when I was upset and polished off a bag of chips with dip) but just enough to satisfy the craving. I notice a difference in how fast I get full. And finally today I lost five pounds. It's not a ton, it's definitely not 30, but it's something and that makes me happy.

I also am halfway to crossing a goal off my list. For some reason, probably because I am horribly out of shape, I have always wanted to be able to run. I drive down the street and see people running and I always am envious. I wished I liked to exercise. I wish my legs didn't turn to jello when I tried to run and my chest feel like a 400 pound man was sitting on it because I am so out of breath, I can't breathe.

When I started watching my diet a little better, I also decided to bite off a little of the exercise thing. I got on my treadmill and ran a whole two minutes. Yes, I said two. And I thought I was going to die. I was purple. I was sweaty. I was pathetic. But I resolved to add 30 seconds to it each time I got on and today I actually ran 15 entire minutes without stopping. Or dying. And I was only pink, not purple. It wasn't a half marathon, but it was something. And most importantly I was proud of myself. That doesn't happen very often for me. But it happened today and today I am celebrating small accomplishments.

From Bad to Worse

My New Year started out great. The boys stayed up, we had apple cider and played Monopoly until midnight, watched the ball drop and went to bed. Things were already looking good.

When we woke up, I was sitting next to Colton on the couch and he told me his New Year's Resolution was to fight with Dawson less. I told him that was a good one. Then he asked me what mine was. I didn't want to bore him with all of them, so I told him that I wanted to slow down and enjoy the family more. To which he replied, "Oh, I thought it would be something like yell less." That's great.

Later in the day, my mom came over to watch the boys so James and I could go to a movie. As we were sitting in the theater waiting for the movie to start, he looked over at me and said, "I think this is going to be a good year for us." Then we spent the next 2 1/2 hours wanting to poke our eyes out because the movie was not good at all. I actually even fell asleep for almost 20 minutes of it.

At this point, my day is not going nearly as well as it had started at midnight, but I am still in a good mood and laughing about the previous incidents. So, James and I headed off to the mall to do some exchanges. On Black Friday, at 4am when all judgement is hazy, I bought him a shirt and pair of shoes that I really liked. Because the shirt was on sale for such a good deal, I bought a large and an XL because I wasn't sure what he'd need. When I came home, I looked and every shirt in his closet that style was a large, so I was planning on returning the other. However, I had a girlfriend come over one day for a playdate and showed her the shirt. She loved it and asked if she could buy the XL from me. Feeling confident in his size, I said sure and sold her the shirt. Then on Christmas morning, James tried on the shirt only to find out the sleeves were a little too short. He suggested an XL and all I could do was giggle. Now, we were in the store looking for and XL. But, everything was clearanced and gone. I guess January 1st is when they start moving in summer clothes (crazy.) There were no shirts above a medium and none the style I had gotten or he liked. Just to add to the fun, the shoes I had gotten him were 1/2 size too big and they didn't have his size in those either, nor could they order them. So we left the store with a credit on the credit card, no shoes, no shirt and a feeling of disbelief that I actually had the right shirt in hand and yet gave it away.

Then we went to a nice dinner and ended the night on a positive note. Lord knows, I couldn't let it stay on the course it was. This is going to be a good year!

101 Goals Update

I am 365 days into my 101 goals in 1,001 days. There are some things I have realized about my list. First, unless I rob a bank, I will not accomplish every goal. In hindsight, I wish I had put more personal goals on there and less home improvement goals that require money. Second, I have been close to a number of these goals, but do to a lack of willpower, still haven't achieved them.

It is good for me to have this list to look at, see what I have done, what I haven't and if money is not the issue, why I haven't done it. So with 636 days left, I will see what I manage to get through.

By September 28, 2011 I would like to
1. Go to Hawaii for my 10 year anniversary - This is booked 3/21-3/29 and I am SO excited!
2. Take my kids to Disney World - a possibility for summer vacay 2011
3. Go on a missions trip - still want to do this, but I think I want to wait until I can take Colton next year
4. Put wood floors in my house
5. Organize my photos - I did it, but have yet to print any new ones or keep up.
6. Keep a regular journal (or blog) - not as much as I would like, but I am so thankful for the memories I have down.
7. Work out consistently 3 to 4 times a week for 2 months - let's hope I achieve this with my I resolution
8. Read through the entire bible
9. Make it back to Colorado to visit
10. Organize the house and keep it that way for 30 days - maybe once my boys have moved out
11. Spend more quality time with the kids - there has been more of this, but not as often as I would like
12. Do a media fast for 3 days
13. Live within James' firefighting paycheck
14. Create a realistic housekeeping plan and stick to it
15. Go to a marriage conference
16. Hike the Grand Canyon
17. Take the kids skiing - one of my best days ever! Hope to do it again this year.
18. Organize the garage (possibly getting cabinets) - totally should have been on my hubby's list
19. Purge items we will never use again - did it, did it again and realized this is a revolving goal
20. Go on a cruise
21. Share my faith with a stranger
22. Keep the office clutter free for a month - I can't even do it for a day
23. Set up a homework routine for the kids
24. Do 25 random acts of kindness
25. Adopt an entire family for Christmas - we missed the deadline this year and did Angel Tree, hopefully next year
26. Learn how to use my MP3 player - still in the box
27. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
28. Figure out how to record home movies to DVD using my computer
29. Create a mission family statement and frame it
30. Purchase furniture for the front room
31. Install a fireplace
32. Get new countertops
33. Replace the bathtubs and showers in both bathrooms
34. Tile the kitchen, bathrooms and laundry room - see what I mean about robbing a bank?
35. Repaint the garage floor
36. Redo the master bedroom closet incorporating our old dresser
37. Stop swearing - my N of resolution
38. Let the kids make most of the decisions for an entire day
39. Have ice cream for dinner - we did this and I ate my while driving 75 mph on southbound I-17 home from Flagstaff. Not safe, but fun!
40. Go to a 4th of July display and sit up close to the action.
41. Do a devotional every day with the kids for a month
42. Stick to a skin care regimen
43. Redo breast augmentation
44. Find the perfect fitting bra
45. Do 100 sit ups for 30 days straight
46. Work up to being able to do 20 regular push ups (as opposed to the 5 girl ones I can do now)
47. Floss daily for 2 weeks - pathetic, but still haven't made it a full 2 weeks, some nights I am just too tired
48. Have a date once a week while the kids are in school for an entire month - this was thrown off a little by James breaking his foot, so hopefully we can start
49. Take family hikes on the weekend
50. Organize the junk drawer and get it down to drawer
51. Jog for 30 minutes straight
52. Make all 3 meals a day at home for an entire month
53. Have a great party
54. Pray every day for 30 days
55. Join another women's bible study - I love Beth Moore.
56. Make a great friend
57. Be more joyful - always trying
58. Don't worry about ANYTHING for 1 week - I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with this, I am way to Type A for this I think
59. Learn to accept my in-laws (siblings too) for who they are and appreciate their quirks - still a work in progress
60. Lead my mom back to Christ
61. See my dad
62. Redo the boys bedrooms and make them friendly and usable
63. Get the boys a laptop computer - almost happened this year for Christmas, but not yet
64. Take a 2 night getaway from the kids yearly
65. Make a point of having a special day with each boy at least 3 times a year
66. Pull the kids out of school one day just to do something fun - and skiing was fun!
67. Go to another Suns game
68. Go to the Renaissance Festival - I have to convince James of this one
69. Watch the sunset with James on the beach - did it in Carlsbad last year with the boys to and still have Maui
70. Don't plan or schedule anything for 72 entire hours. Fly by the seat of my pants! - maybe over summer break
71. Camp out in the back yard as a family
72. Stay off the phone, not even answering it, for 48 hours
73. Consider getting a dog - still considering
74. Lose 10 pounds and keep it off without depriving myself, just controlling myself
75. Go on a shopping spree when I have maintained my body for 30 days - the money is reserved and waiting
76. Don't drink any caffeine for 30 days
77. Go ice skating with the family
78. Go horseback riding as a family
79. Let my husband lead
80. Organize old momentos
81. Go to a tree lighting ceremony
82. Go the Phoenix First Assembly Christmas service
83. Go to the APS light parade
84. Rent a boat and take the boys to the lake for a day
85. Do the Hoover Dam tour
86. Recycle to the best of my abilities for 1 week
87. Meet our neighbors - I am meeting more of them
88. Learn to play the drums
89. Trade in James' jeep for a 4 door truck - right after I plant the money tree in the backyard
90. Make sure James has 1 free day a month to do whatever he wants - I am happy he has these and know he appreciates it
91. Go to lunch with a girlfriend once a month for 3 months - did it, but it fell off...need to start again
92. Get a professional massage (since my favorite place went out of business)
93. Get a facial
94. Stain the kitchen cabinets and put the knobs we bought 6 months ago on them - now it is 18 months
95. Finish armorie
96. Figure out a good place for the video games
97. Have family game night twice a month - Monopoly is helping with this
98. Take the kids to the driving range and/or golfing - does goofy golf count?
99. Scrapbook
100. Look at the word of the day on KLOVE everyday
101. Be content with my life...even if I don't accomplish anything on the list

I have a long way to go and an excuse for everything not accomplished, but if anything I think I am closer to goal 101 and that's all that matters.